Tips for Talking to Your Children About Mental Health: What Every Parent Should Know

Updated on: June 19, 2024
Published on: June 19, 2020
Author: Kentucky Counseling Center

For parents facing mental health challenges, opening up to your children about symptoms, struggles, and certain behaviors can be daunting. Yet, for children—who may not fully comprehend what is happening—it can also be confusing. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), children often benefit from clear, developmentally appropriate explanations when a family member is dealing with mental health concerns.

That’s why it’s crucial to talk to your children about mental health and mental illness in the family. Whether the individual affected is a parent, grandparent, sibling, or guardian, openness and communication help children understand why certain behaviors occur. This knowledge can reduce fear and foster resilience.

Below, we’ve put together tips and advice to guide meaningful conversations about mental health between you and your children.

Why Open Communication Matters

The Value of Transparency

Children are naturally observant. If Mom or Dad seems different from other parents—or from how they used to be—kids pick up on it. Allowing them to ask questions and share concerns helps remove the “mystery” that can lead to misunderstandings or fear.

Pro Tip: The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) suggests that honest, age-appropriate discussions about mental health can improve a child’s ability to cope and reduce stigma.

Structuring Conversations

• Set a Consistent Time: Children, especially younger ones, thrive on routine. Consider scheduling a weekly family meeting to discuss what’s happening at home and how everyone is feeling.
• Encourage Questions: Let them know it’s okay to ask about your experiences, feelings, or even medications.
• Relate It to Their World: If possible, provide relatable examples or analogies they understand—for instance, comparing mental health struggles to “low batteries” that need recharging.

1. Answer Your Child’s Questions

Children are curious and will often approach you with direct questions. While you may not have all the answers, making an effort to explain in a way they can understand is invaluable.

Helpful Resources

• Books: Titles like Binky Bunny Wants To Know About Bipolar (part of the Binky Bunny and the Psychiatric Briar Patch collection) introduce mental health concepts in child-friendly language.
• Therapy Sessions: Family or joint parent-child sessions with a counselor can help guide these conversations. A mental health professional can offer strategies for answering difficult questions and validating your child’s feelings.
• Online Resources: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provides additional tips and factual information about children’s mental health.

2. Tips for Helping Children Understand Mental Health

Each family dynamic and mental health situation is unique. However, some general guidelines can help your child grasp the basics of what you or another family member is going through.

A. Explain How You Feel

• Name the Emotion: Use simple terms like “sad,” “worried,” or “frustrated” to describe how you’re feeling.
• Share Physical Symptoms: If you experience anxiety, you might describe it as “a tight feeling in my chest” or “butterflies in my stomach.”

B. Reassure Them It’s Nobody’s Fault

• Normalize Mental Health: Mental illness can be tough for even adults to understand. Emphasize that these challenges are not caused by anything a child did or didn’t do.
• Stress That Illness Is Manageable: Compare mental health treatment to taking care of a broken arm or the flu—sometimes people need professional care, medication, or other interventions to heal or cope.

C. Explore Their Feelings and Perceptions

• Ask Open-Ended Questions: “How do you feel when Daddy needs quiet time?” or “What do you think about Mommy taking medicine each morning?”
• Validate Emotions: Acknowledge fears or frustrations. Let them know it’s okay to feel upset, confused, or worried.

D. Speak in Their Language

• Use Analogies or Stories: Compare mental health challenges to concepts they’re already familiar with, like recharging a phone battery or riding a rollercoaster with ups and downs.
• Leverage Their Experiences: If a child has experienced feeling scared or sad, use that moment to explain how a parent’s symptoms might feel.

E. Be Open About Medication

• Age-Appropriate Explanations: Children understand that medicine can help the body feel better. Mental health medication is no different.
• Discuss Side Effects: If medications might cause tiredness, dry mouth, or mood swings, let your kids know so they aren’t alarmed by changes.

3. Don’t Underestimate Potential Trauma

If a child has witnessed self-harm, violence, or suicidal behavior, the psychological impact can be profound. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), children who witness traumatic events may exhibit nightmares, anxiety, or sudden behavioral changes.

When Trauma Occurs

• Professional Help: Consider seeking a child therapist or counselor. Early intervention can reduce long-term emotional challenges.
• Telehealth Options: If in-person help is limited, online mental health counseling and psychiatry services provide accessible alternatives.

4. Never Stop the Conversation

Mental health is often a lifelong journey. One conversation won’t cover everything, nor will it magically resolve all fears or uncertainties. Maintaining ongoing, open dialogue empowers kids to express themselves and learn coping strategies that can last into adulthood.

Did You Know? Research published in Child Psychiatry & Human Development indicates that children who discuss mental health openly with caregivers are more likely to seek help themselves if challenges arise later.

Ways to Keep Communication Flowing

• Check-Ins: During family dinners or quiet moments, ask how they’re feeling and if they have new questions.
• Shared Journals: If talking face-to-face feels tough, consider a journal you can pass back and forth.
• Encourage Peer Support: Some older children and teens benefit from talking with friends or joining support groups.

Final Thoughts

Talking to your children about mental health—whether your own struggles or those of a loved one—can feel intimidating. However, an open, honest approach can alleviate confusion, reduce stigma, and strengthen family bonds. By tailoring explanations to a child’s developmental level, addressing their questions, and fostering an environment where it’s safe to talk about difficult emotions, you set the stage for better understanding and resilience.

Remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Professional counseling, whether in person or through telehealth, is an option for families looking to support healthier conversations and effective coping strategies. The more children understand mental illness and see it treated as any other health concern, the more equipped they become to face their own psychological ups and downs, both now and in the future.