Although the stigma surrounding mental health treatment may not be as severe as it once was that doesn’t mean it’s gone completely. Many of us have loved ones struggling in silence.
It’s not always easy to spot the signs of a loved one in trouble but there are some subtle indicators. Is someone becoming more withdrawn or seems depressed? Has their behavior or appearance suddenly changed?
It’s awful know that someone you love is hurting and you don’t know what to do. You can feel helpless and afraid.
And sometimes this terrible feeling can drive you to pour so much of yourself into trying to help or even save your loved one that your own cup runs empty. But the great news is that there are ways to support your friends, family members or significant others without burning yourself out.
Noticing the Signs
Sometimes the signs creep in little by little. It may be a change in temperament, attitude or energy levels. You might detect changes that indicate there’s more going on than just ordinary and everyday stress.
A gentle conversation can help if your loved one is showing signs of distress. They may look tired or unkempt. They might have uncharacteristic difficulties at work or in their personal relationships. They might even lose interest in things they once enjoyed.
But you can prevent the problem progressing into something bigger if you spot these signs early on. Loved ones may struggle due to job stress, anxiety, grief and a host of other factors but the earlier a loving conversation can be had the earlier help can arrive.
If you suspect the problem relates to substance abuse, encourage them to seek treatment and offer to help them find a qualified treatment center in their area.
Ask How You Can Help
This may seem too simplistic but sometimes asking how to help is the first step. It also relieves the pressure you may feel when you simply don’t know what to do. That feeling can cause undue stress on you and may result in you avoiding the problem altogether.
It may be that they need someone to listen. Active listening is frequently undervalued but we all need to be heard. Getting our thoughts out can take a weight off. An invitation to coffee or lunch may be the key to brightening their day and lifting their spirits.
Consider an Intervention
Simply sitting down with your loved one can sometimes be enough to lift their spirits and improve their mental health. At other times a more targeted approach is best.
This is especially true if your loved one has a mental health condition or an a;cpjp; pr drug addiction. Sometimes the two go hand in hand and one condition can lead to or worsen the other..
It’s not unusual for people experiencing addiction to not be able to see the severity of their condition. They could deny their dependency of even refuse to admit they’re misusing substances. When this occurs, an intervention may be necessary.
An intervention is a planned, coordinated meeting that usually involves the family and friends of the individual, as well as a healthcare professional. It may also include another trusted advisor, such as a member of the individual’s faith community.
During the intervention, those gathered will gently and kindly share their concerns. They can explain the negative outcomes of the individual’s destructive behaviors, offer treatment options, and explain the consequences that may occur if they refuse to get help.
It’s important to remember that interventions are not meant to be bashing sessions. Approaching your loved one in an understanding, non-judgmental way can build trust and encourage them to see your side.
Talking to a Pro
Remember, some things are out of your control and some challenges beyond your ability to cope with. And this is when the support of a trained psychotherapist is needed.
Helping your loved one make the decision to reach out to an expert in the field of mental health could be the greatest gift you could give them. Therapy provides the tools people need to deal with some of life’s greatest challenges.
You can also offer to help your loved one search for a therapist that suits their needs. When you do this it’s important to examine their credentials and experience. Many therapists have specializations in diverse areas. Some, for instance, are specially trained in the care of adolescents or seniors or those with co-occurring mental health and addiction disorders.
A quick phone call can help your loved one verify costs and make an appointment if it seems like a good fit.
Suggest Holistic Treatment
There are different ways to help a loved one struggling. The adage of Rome not being built in a day applies here as well. Their problems won’t go away overnight and in some cases their problems may not go away at all. Sometimes it’s not the issue but how you react that maximizes the support you can give while minimizing the stress you feel.
Try some new adventures with them. Why not offer to treat them to a relaxing massage that helps you both? Maybe read up on meditation and recommend you try it together, either in the same place or at the same time.
Use Your Resources
States have agencies and resources for persons experiencing an array of physical and mental health conditions. If you search these websites, they include links for assistance, depending on the need. These are government sites that have information you can use, including caregiver support programs, transitional housing assistance and family services.
Some services may be free which is beneficial if a loved one doesn’t have healthcare coverage or is on a fixed income. There is no shame in needing help and finding the appropriate resource for your loved one also means you aren’t stretched financially trying to help someone else.
Remember to Set Boundaries
Watching a loved one struggle is hard. You want to support them, even when you don’t know what to do. But when you take on someone else’s burden, it can lead to serious burnout before you know it. There are ways you can help that won’t add unmanageable stress to your life and some may even benefit you in the process.
The important thing is to have a plan and understand what options are available for your loved one.
Above all, as you support your loved one in crisis be sure to set boundaries and prioritize your own self-care as well. Remember: you can’t take care of anyone if you don’t first take care of yourself. This applies to both your mental and physical health.
Some of the ways you can prioritize self-care during this stressful period include:
- Going on short walks or engaging in light exercise
- Journaling your thoughts and reflections
- Eating nutrient-dense, filling meals
- Taking a warm bath
- Getting plenty of sleep
You may also benefit from attending peer support groups or visiting a therapist. Even talking to a trusted friend over coffee can be a much-needed pick-me-up. As you help your loved one through this season, it can be helpful to connect with others who understand what you’re going through and can offer advice as you navigate each next step.
Offering a shoulder of support is a wonderful way to be there for the people who mean the most to you. Mental health challenges often occur in silence, but they don’t have to stay that way. The tips above can help you start those important conversations, make the right connections, and step forward in confidence together.
