Published on: October 4, 2021
Updated on: November 19, 2025
Author: Kentucky Counseling Center
A midlife crisis often marks a time of deep reflection—an evaluation of one’s achievements, relationships, and overall fulfillment in life. Ranging anywhere from the mid-30s to early 60s, this transitional phase can stir feelings of boredom, regret, frustration, or longing for a bygone youth. While this period can lead to profound personal growth, it can also trigger impulsive decisions—such as divorces or career changes—that one might later regret.
In this article, we explore common causes and signs of a midlife crisis, ways to cope with its challenges, and strategies for finding resolution when regrets begin to weigh heavily.
Causes of Midlife Crisis
1. Death of a Loved One
Coping with the loss of someone dear can magnify your awareness of life’s fragility. Heightened grief or denial may stir existential questions:
- “Have I lived a fulfilling life?”
- “Am I making the most of my remaining time?”
2. Physical Changes
Wrinkles, thinning hair, or decreased physical stamina can spark dissatisfaction when you realize you’re no longer in your prime. If such changes collide with unmet life goals, frustration can amplify.
3. Career Setback
Dreams of rapid advancement sometimes stall due to economic shifts, workplace politics, or personal burnout. Realizing you haven’t met your professional aspirations by a self-imposed deadline can escalate stress or self-doubt.
4. Family Relationship Strains
A once-close marriage can feel distant. Children may become adults with lives of their own. The realization that family ties or personal connections have weakened might trigger regret or isolation.
Signs of a Midlife Crisis
1. Nostalgia and Longing for the Past
You catch yourself reliving “the good old days,” perhaps idealizing past successes or relationships. While reminiscing can be comforting, dwelling on what’s gone can fuel discontent with the present.
2. Emptiness and Boredom
Running on autopilot—doing the same daily routines for decades—can stifle motivation. You might feel as though life lacks purpose or excitement.
3. Discontentment with Life
You might envy peers or compare your journey unfavorably to others’. A persistent sense of “not measuring up” can lead to frustration and self-blame.
4. Drastic Change in Attitude or Mood
Midlife crises can manifest as mood swings, restlessness, or impulsive behaviors. Internal stress may spill into relationships, sometimes prompting hasty decisions like quitting a job or ending a marriage.
5. Infidelity or Marital Issues
Infidelity can be a misguided attempt to recapture excitement or intimacy lost over time. While affairs often hurt everyone involved, not all struggling marriages end in divorce—some couples choose to confront the root causes and rebuild.
The Regret Factor
Regret—especially during or after a midlife crisis—may revolve around major life decisions, such as a career change or divorce. Interestingly, research indicates that nearly 33% of those who divorce express regret about it within five years, assuming the relationship wasn’t marked by abuse or deep incompatibility. Regret itself isn’t inherently destructive; rather, it can be a catalyst for introspection and positive change if handled wisely.
Six Stages of Midlife Crisis
- Denial
Refusing to accept that aging is inevitable. - Anger
Becoming frustrated or bitter about slipping control over career, family, or health. - Replay
Wishing to relive your youth—seeking thrills or drastic changes (e.g., buying a sports car or moving across the country). - Depression
Feeling hopeless when attempts to recapture the past fail. - Withdrawal
Isolating from loved ones as negative emotions intensify. - Acceptance
Embracing this new chapter of life, often seeking fresh goals and deeper personal meaning.
How to Deal with a Midlife Crisis
In general, midlife crisis is a temporary phase in a person’s life. Not everyone goes through this phase.
This phase doesn’t represent the whole picture of a person’s work and accomplishments. For men, this stage can last around 3–10 years, and for women, 2–5 years. Here are some tips on how to handle and cope with a midlife crisis:
1. Practice Meditation and Mindfulness
Calming the mind through meditation can help you see life more clearly. When you reduce mental noise, it’s easier to identify what genuinely needs changing versus what’s fueled by impulsive discontent.
2. Explore New Outlets for Creativity
Join an art class, learn to play an instrument, or start writing that novel you’ve always dreamed of. Such endeavors can ignite fresh passion and foster a sense of achievement.
3. Consider Positive Changes
A midlife crisis, though unsettling, can open doors for reinvention. Reflect on ways to improve health, shift careers, or revisit old dreams. For many, this stage spurs new beginnings rather than endings.
4. Practice Gratitude
Recognize what you’ve already accomplished. Whether it’s raising children, building professional skills, or nurturing friendships, you likely have reasons to be proud. Gratitude helps counter feelings of emptiness or envy.
5. Limit Screen Time
Constant exposure to social media—where others’ successes are on display—can worsen feelings of inadequacy. Step away from digital distractions and invest time in meaningful interactions with family and friends.
6. Reconnect with Loved Ones
Sometimes, regrets stem from drifting apart from significant people in your life. Reopening lines of communication or planning shared activities can rebuild emotional bonds and give renewed purpose.
Avoiding the “What If…” Trap
Obsessing over hypotheticals (“What if I had taken that job promotion?” “What if I hadn’t had children so early?”) keeps you tethered to scenarios you can’t change. It’s important to acknowledge that aging brings wisdom and opportunities to reinvent yourself. Rather than mourning what might have been, focus on the present and what you can shape.
When Marriage and Divorce Enter the Picture
Midlife crises can strain marriages, leading to hasty separations or divorces. While some relationships genuinely end due to irreconcilable differences or abuse, others fall to impulses fueled by restlessness. Before pursuing a drastic step:
- Communicate: Share feelings and uncertainties with your spouse.
- Seek Counseling: Couples therapy can clarify underlying issues and help you evaluate if divorce is truly the best path.
- Recall Commitments: Reflect on the promises you made to each other—sometimes, remembering shared history helps restore perspective.
If you feel that divorce is the right step, you don’t have to handle everything on your own. An online divorce platform can guide you through the process quickly and affordably, helping you get the clarity you need to move forward. Take the first step toward a fresh start with support that puts you and your family first.
Don’t Give Up
A midlife crisis doesn’t need to culminate in regret or a broken marriage. With open communication, professional counseling, and willingness to adapt, you can emerge from this stage with a renewed sense of self—and even stronger relationships.
Kentucky Counseling Center (KCC) offers specialized services in mental health counseling and marriage therapy. If you’re grappling with regrets after a midlife crisis, don’t hesitate to reach out. With the right support, you can shift from dwelling on past mistakes to embracing the second half of life with optimism and hope.
