The Truth Behind Self-Harm

Published on: May 13, 2021
Updated on: May 13, 2025
Author: Kentucky Counseling Center

Self-harm (also known as self-injury) is often surrounded by secrecy. It’s not a mental disorder in itself but a serious sign of emotional distress, possibly accompanied by underlying mental health issues. People of all ages—though especially teens—may resort to self-harm as a means of coping with overwhelming feelings or unresolved pain. In this article, we’ll examine why some individuals hurt themselves, common risk factors, signs to watch for, and how to seek effective support and treatment.

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm involves any deliberate act of hurting oneself, such as:

• Cutting or scratching skin
• Burning with matches or cigarettes
• Hitting or bruising oneself
• Banging body parts against hard objects
• Overdosing on prescription or over-the-counter drugs
• Engaging in reckless behaviors (e.g., binge drinking, high-speed driving)

Although self-harm is not typically a suicide attempt, it may indicate intense emotional pain, and the risk of accidental death or severe injury must not be underestimated.

The Self-Harm Cycle

Self-harm typically follows this repetitive pattern:

1. Emotional Overload: Anger, sadness, or stress becomes unbearable.
2. Self-Injury: The person deliberately hurts themselves to gain momentary release or distraction.
3. Guilt or Shame: After the incident, negative feelings re-emerge, fueling more distress.

If left unaddressed, this cycle can become an entrenched behavior.

Why Do Some People Self-Harm?

Emotional difficulties often drive self-injury. Individuals might:

• Seek Control: Inflicting pain can offer a short-lived sense of power over chaotic emotions.
• Relieve Emotional Numbness: Physical pain can feel more “real” than overwhelming emptiness.
• Escape Trauma: Past abuse or loss may lead someone to harm themselves to block flashbacks or stressful memories.
• Self-Punish: Guilt over certain actions or beliefs might prompt self-injury as a form of personal retribution.
• Cry for Help: Though not all self-harmers intend to attract attention, some subconsciously hope someone will notice they are struggling.

Recognizing Signs of Self-Harm

You might suspect a loved one is self-harming if they:

• Exhibit unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns, often on wrists, arms, thighs, or abdomen.
• Wear long sleeves or pants even in warm weather, possibly hiding injuries.
• Appear increasingly secretive about personal habits or carry sharp objects.
• Display mood changes, such as unstable or impulsive behaviors.
• Offer vague explanations (“I fell,” “It’s nothing”) for visible wounds.
• Have a history of risk-taking behaviors or substance misuse.

Key Insight: Early detection can help break the cycle before habits intensify.

Who’s Most at Risk?

Although anyone can self-harm, certain risk factors raise the likelihood:

1. Existing Mental Health Disorders
   
   • Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, or borderline personality disorder can heighten vulnerability.
2. Traumatic Past
   
   • Survivors of abuse, neglect, or other significant trauma sometimes turn to self-harm as a coping mechanism.
3. Low Self-Esteem
   
   • Perceiving oneself as worthless can lead to self-punitive actions.
4. Lack of Emotional Support
   
   • People with few friends or strained family relationships may not have safe spaces to express hurt feelings.
5. Peer Influence
   
   • Knowing someone who self-harms can normalize the behavior and, in some cases, encourage imitation.

Breaking the Cycle: Mental Health Treatment

Self-harm is usually a red flag for deeper emotional struggles. Professional help can address both the urge to self-injure and underlying causes:

1. Psychotherapy

• Talk Therapy or counseling (e.g., cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy) helps individuals:
  • Identify triggers
  • Develop healthy coping mechanisms
  • Learn to express emotions without harm

2. Medication

• If a co-occurring mental disorder (e.g., major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder) is present, antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may reduce impulsivity and emotional distress.

3. Support Groups

• Sharing stories in a safe group setting can lessen shame and loneliness.
• Builds peer support, offering coping tips and encouragement.

4. Family Therapy

• Often beneficial if family conflicts or communication issues contribute to stress.
• Strengthens emotional support systems within the home.

What You Can Do if You’re Self-Harming

1. Talk to Someone
   
   • Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. Hiding pain can intensify isolation.
2. Create a Safety Plan
   
   • Remove or lock away sharp objects.
   • Write down positive affirmations or crisis helpline numbers for moments of intense urge.
3. Seek Professional Guidance
   
   • Mental health experts can diagnose underlying conditions and tailor a personalized therapy plan.
4. Explore Healthy Outlets
   
   • Journaling, art, playing an instrument, or physical activities like running can channel negative emotions more productively.

When to Seek Immediate Help

• If injuries are severe or life-threatening, call 911 or visit the nearest ER.
• If suicidal thoughts accompany self-harm urges— contact a suicide prevention hotline or mental health professional right away.

Kentucky Counseling Center provides telehealth counseling, so you can connect with licensed therapists without leaving home. That initial conversation might be the turning point toward a safer, healthier life.

Conclusion

Self-harm is a serious indicator of emotional distress, not a mere phase or attention-seeking tactic. While it temporarily eases internal turmoil, it carries lasting risks—physically and psychologically. Recognizing the signs, understanding why it happens, and seeking professional support can break the cycle of self-harm. You’re not alone—help is available to shift from pain and secrecy toward healing and hope.