At some point in our life, we experience heartbreak, be it the end of a romantic relationship with an ex, your special someone cheating, the person you truly love not reciprocating your love, ending a friendship with a friend, and many more. There are many reasons you can get heartbroken, but there are also many ways to mend a broken heart.
Heartbreak and pain happen because you give love, and being in love is one of the best emotions in the world. No one commits to a relationship with the hopes of getting heartbroken. But you don’t know what the future holds. Being in love means taking the risk of being heartbroken.
There can be feelings of anger, confusion, grief, loneliness, or sadness after a heartbreak.
All you have to do is pick up yourself, keep going, stay strong, and re-learn the process of how to trust again.
Acceptance is the First Step
The first step to getting over a break-up is acceptance or accepting things the way they are. Accept that the relationship with someone you love has ended and that it’s time to move on. It may be brutal to hear this, but stop fantasizing about the idea that you can get back together, or this is just a phase, or you are on a temporary break.
You won’t be able to move on if you hang on to the thought of getting back with your partner. If you think you did your part and best to fix the relationship, but it’s getting nowhere, try to accept the situation. It won’t be easy; you can be in denial, but it will eventually be easier to accept as time passes.
Be The Better Person and Forgive
As you try to slowly accept the break-up, try to forgive. Whether you’ve been cheated on or left hanging on a thread, be the bigger person and try to forgive.
If you’re the one at fault for the end of your relationship, forgive yourself, too. When you learn to truly forgive, the burden immediately becomes lighter. You may never forget that part of your life, but forgiveness will at least set you free from lingering anger, resentment, or guilt.
Look at the Silver Lining
It is possible to stay positive after suffering from heartache. They say everything happens for a reason. Start considering that maybe your ex is not meant for you, that a better partner won’t come into your life if you and your ex are still together.
Train yourself to believe that positive changes are coming into your life. Start by being kind to yourself after the break-up.
Say Positive Affirmations
Have a morning routine with exercise and mindfulness meditation, saying to yourself affirmations like, “I will be okay. Today is going to be a good day. Better things are coming my way.” This is what you call the Law of Attraction. Things start to manifest as you start believing they will. When you believe in positivity, positive things will happen.
Do Not Avoid the Pain
The worst thing you can do after heartbreak is to avoid the pain. Suppression is a defense mechanism where a person blocks or avoids heartache. It is unhealthy.
Face your pain, cry, or vent it out. Do not hide your feelings. If you let yourself cry as much as you like, you’ll get over the heartbreak sooner.
Crying is perfectly normal for people. It is not a sign of weakness. It’s a brave step in moving on.
Take Healing One Day at a Time
Relationship experts say that all wounds heal over time, so take time to heal one day at a time. The healing process is not easy. Things may not seem to be going back to normal, but if you allow yourself to heal one day at a time, eventually, everything will be okay.
Some people may heal faster. For some, it will take time. There is no deadline, but time will heal your wounds in the end.
End the Connection
Cut the connection if it’s easier for you to get over the heartbreak. Unfollow or unfriend your ex on social media. Also, avoid trash-talking and posting bad things about your ex on your social media accounts.
Delete their phone number so as not to be tempted to stay in contact. Avoid social gatherings where you may bump into your ex.
The situation may be different for divorced couples who have kids because you need to communicate to co-parent your kids. At first, try to have a mediator or a middle man when you communicate, and if everything is okay, maybe you can stay as friends in the future.
Go Out and Socialize
The feelings after a break-up include loneliness and sadness, so don’t sulk at home. Go out and socialize, spend time with your friends, meet new people, visit new places, or travel. Spending time with your support system and talking about your feelings is emotional venting, which is healthy after a heartbreak.
Share What You Feel with a Trusted Person
It’s easier to get over a heartbreak when you share your feelings with a trusted person. You can have your best friend come over to your house over a bottle of wine and just talk. Having a trusted friend or family by your side who knows you well can help you through this challenging period.
Keep Yourself Busy
The next step to not overthink the situation is to keep yourself busy. After all the crying and emotional roller coaster, it’s time to get out there and spend your time wisely.
Get a gym membership, find a new hobby, take time to travel, go outdoors, do something you’re passionate about, or spend time with your family. This may sound like a cliché, but many people do this after a break-up with their ex.
Keeping yourself busy can make you feel great. Who knows? Maybe you can meet new friends or be back on track in the dating world. If you’re busy all the time, you won’t have time to think about your ex.
Now that you have all the time in the world, start taking care of yourself. Self-love must be a priority. A boosted self-esteem and self-confidence will follow if you start loving yourself again.
Take care of your health, exercise, eat healthily, and pamper yourself with relaxing massages. When you start taking care of yourself, you will feel emotionally and mentally happy. If you just recently got heartbroken and have neglected yourself as a result, it will take a toll on your mental health.
Do not allow this heartbreak to get the best of you. There are many new people you can meet who are far more wonderful.
Write Down What You Feel In a Journal
If your feelings are starting to overwhelm you, start a journal to vent your feelings. Perhaps you can write a song or poem or plan your life goals out of this heartbreak. They say that the greatest songs come from feelings of love lost because the emotions after a break-up are so strong and real. Additionally, this type of creative release can help you heal more quickly.
Journaling soothes your tensions and helps you clear your head to fix your problems. Some people use their journal as a life goal list. This is something that you can also do.
Do Not Resort to Drinking
It’s okay to have occasional drinks or party with friends, but do not use alcohol or recreational drugs to escape your feelings. Substance abuse is never the answer. In fact, it will make things worse. It is a recipe for disaster if you’re resorting to these unhealthy habits after a break-up.
Make Someone Smile
Maybe you’re asking how making someone smile can help you get over a heartbreak. The answer is simple. If you’re having a bad day and things are not going your way, making someone smile can make you smile, too. Isn’t it the best feeling in the world when you see someone smile or laugh because of you?
This feeling of happiness is contagious. It can uplift your mood, too. Smile at a stranger, surprise a special someone, do good deeds, be kind to everybody you meet, and share happiness and positivity.
Use the Heartbreak as a Lesson
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and that life’s best lesson is a broken heart. Use this heartbreak as a lesson, as it is one way to become a better person.
Ask yourself what you can learn from this experience. How can you avoid getting a broken heart in the future? How will you approach your future relationships? Do you need to improve something in yourself to be a better partner?
Re-evaluate your likes and dislikes in a relationship. It is best to write down these questions and answer them in your journal. As you try to reflect, you’ll learn new life lessons.
Go to Therapy
Go to therapy if you feel that it’s hard to get over a break-up and worry about your mental health. Facing a significant loss in life can cause depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
It would be best if you took care of your mental health. Therapy is a safe place for you to explore your feelings, find ways to cope with this loss, and help you define your goals. Open up to your therapist as if they were your best friend, except that they are experts equipped with the knowledge and experience to deal with difficult phases in life.
Looking for a Therapist?
Schedule an appointment with Kentucky Counseling Center (KCC). Get over your break-up or heartbreak with the help of the mental health professionals at KCC.
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