At some point in our life, we experience heartbreak. May it be the end of a romantic relationship with an ex, your special someone cheated, or the person you truly love cannot reciprocate your love, ending a friendship with a friend, and many more. There are many reasons you can get your heartbroken, but there are also many ways to mend it.
Heartbreak and pain happens because you give love, and being inlove is one of the best emotions in the world. No one commits to a relationship with the hopes of getting heartbroken. But you don’t know what the future holds. Being inlove means taking the risk of being heartbroken. There can be feelings of anger, confusion, grief, loneliness, or sadness.
All you have to do is pick up yourself, keep going, stay strong, and re-learn the process of how to trust again. So if you’re reading this article because you recently got heartbroken, you’re a step in the right direction. Heal emotionally and mentally with these ways on how to mend a broken heart.
Acceptance is the First Step
The first step to getting over a breakup is acceptance, and accept things the way they were. Accept that the relationship with someone you love has ended and it’s time to move on. It may be brutal to hear this but, stop fantasizing about the thought that you can get back together, or this is just a phase, or you are on a temporary break.
If you live with a mindset with the hopes of your partner coming back, how can you move on? If you think you did your part and best to fix the relationship, but it’s getting nowhere, try to accept the situation. It won’t be easy, you can be in denial, but eventually, as time passes you should try to accept it.
As you try to slowly accept the break-up, try to forgive. Whether you’ve been cheated on or left hanging on a thread, be the bigger person and try to forgive. If you’re the one who is at fault for why the relationship ended, forgive yourself too. When you learn to truly figure, you’ll feel like a chip is coming off your shoulder, the burden will be lighter, the pain will be lesser. You may never forget that part of your life, but at least try to forgive.
Be The Better Person and Forgive
With all the tears and heartache, try to stay positive. They say everything happens for a reason, maybe this person is not meant for you. Maybe greater things and a better partner are destined for you. Start believing in yourself that positive changes are coming into your life, be kind to yourself after the breakup.
Try Morning Salutations
Have a morning routine with exercise and mindfulness meditation saying to yourself “I will be okay. Today is going to be a good day. Better things are coming my way”. That’s what you call the Law of Attraction, as you start believing, it will start to manifest. When you believe in positivity, positive things will happen.
Do Not Avoid the Pain
The worst thing you can do after heartbreak is to avoid the pain. Suppression is a defense mechanism where a person blocks or avoids heartache, it is unhealthy. Face your pain, cry, vent, do not hide your feelings. If you cry as much as you can, the sooner you’ll get over the heartbreak. When you remember the fun memories it may hurt. If you see some of the photos of your ex, it can make you cry. That’s perfectly normal for all people, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a brave step in moving on.
Take Time to Heal: Take It One Day at a Time
Relationship experts say they say all heart wounds are healed by time, so take time to heal one day at a time. The healing process is not easy, everything may not seem to go back to normal. But take it one day at a time, and eventually, everything will be okay. Some people may heal faster, for some it will take time, there is no deadline, but time will heal.
End the Connection
If it’s easier for you to get over the heartbreak, cut the connection. Unfollow or unfriend your exon social media, also avoid trash-talking and posting bad things about your ex on social media. Delete his/her phone number not be tempted to stay in contact. Avoid social gatherings that you may bump into your ex-lover.
How About for Divorced Parents?
For divorced couples who have kids, the situation may be different because you need to communicate to co-parento your kids. At first, try to have a mediator or a middle man when you communicate, and if everything is okay, maybe in the future you can stay as friends.
Go Out and Socialize
The feelings after a breakup include loneliness and sadness. So don’t sulk at home, go out and socialize, spend time with your friends, meet new people, visit new places, travel. Spending time with your support system and talking about your feelings is emotional venting and it is healthy after a heartbreak.
Share What You Feel With a Trusted Person
It’s easier to get over a heartbreak when you share your feelings with a trusted person. You can have your best friend come over to your house over a bottle of wine and just talk. Having a trusted friend or family by your side, who knows you well, can help you through this challenging situation.
Call Your Best Friend
You know you and your best friend are going to be there for each other no matter what. Your best friend or a family member can give you advice on how to move forward. You know they will be there for you no matter what. But remember to avoid talking about your innermost feelings about your ex to someone who is dismissive and who puts off the topic, when you’re not feeling any empathy, set limits.
Keep Yourself Busy
The next step to not overthink the situation is to keep yourself busy. After all the crying and emotional roller coaster, it’s time to get out there and spend your time wisely. Enroll yourself in the gym, find a new hobby, take time to travel, go outdoors, do something you’re passionate about, spend time with your family. This may sound like a cliché, many people do this after a break-up with an ex, keeping yourself busy can make you feel great. Who knows? Maybe you can meet new friends or perhaps be back on track in the dating world. If you’re busy all the time, you won’t have time to think about your ex.
Now that you have all the time in the world, start taking care of yourself. How can you give love to your next relationship if you don’t know and love yourself? You have given love to your ex all this time, it’s time to love yourself. Self-love must be a priority, a boosted self-esteem and self-confidence will follow.
How Can You Love Yourself?
Take care of your health, exercise, eat healthily, pamper yourself with relaxing massages. When you start taking care of yourself, you will feel emotionally and mentally happy. If you just recently got heartbroken and not take care of yourself, it will take a toll on your mental health. Do not allow this heartbreak with your ex to get the best of you, there are many new people you can meet that are far more wonderful.
Write Down What You Feel In a Journal
If your feelings are starting to overwhelm you, start a journal to vent out your feelings. Perhaps, you can write a song or poem, start a blog, out of this heartbreak, plan out your life goals. They say that the greatest songs come from feelings of love lost because the emotions after a break-up are so strong and real. When you resort to journaling, it helps you clear your head to fix your problems and soothes your tensions. Some people use their journal as a life goal list, you can do that too.
Do Not Resort to Drinking
It’s okay to have occasional drinks or to party with friends, but do not use alcohol or recreational drugs to escape your feelings. Substance abuse is never the answer, in fact, it will make things worst. If you’re resorting to these unhealthy habits after a break-up, it is a recipe for disaster.
Make Someone Smile
It may be odd, maybe you’re asking, how can making someone smile help me get over a heartbreak? Simple, if you’re having a bad day, and things may not go your way, making someone smile can make you smile too. Isn’t it the best feeling in the world when you see someone laugh because of you? This feeling of happiness is contagious, it can uplift your mood too. Smile at a stranger, surprise a special someone, do good deeds, be kind to everybody you meet, share happiness and positivity.
Use the Heartbreak as a Lesson
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and that life’s best lesson is a broken heart. Use this heartbreak as a lesson, it is one way to be a better person. What can you learn from this experience? How can you avoid getting a broken heart in the future? How do you approach your future relationships? Do you need to improve something in yourself to be a better partner? Re-evaluate your likes and dislikes in a relationship. It is best to write down these questions and answer them in your journal. As you try to reflect, you’ll learn new life lessons.
Go To Therapy
If you feel that it’s hard to get over a break-up and you’re worried about your mental health, go to therapy. Facing a significant loss in life can cause depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. You should take care of your mental health too. Therapy is a safe place for you to explore your feelings, find ways on how to cope with this loss, and help you define your goals. Consider your therapist as your best friend, except for the fact that they are experts equipped with the knowledge and experience to deal with these kinds of situations.
Looking for A Therapist?
Schedule an appointment with Kentucky Counseling Center. Get over a break-up with your ex with the help of the mental health professionals of KCC.