Getting Over a Heartbreak: How to Fix a Broken Heart

Published on: May 11, 2021
Updated on: May 11, 2025
Author: Kentucky Counseling Center

Heartbreak is a universal experience—one that can leave us feeling confused, devastated, and unsure of how to move forward. It doesn’t matter if it stems from a romantic relationship ending, unrequited love, or a major friendship falling apart; the emotional pain can be overwhelming. Yet, heartbreak also means you cared deeply, and that capacity for love is what will help you heal and emerge stronger.

Below, you’ll find practical steps and mental shifts to guide you through the healing process—from the initial acceptance of the situation to forging a brighter path ahead.

Acceptance Is the First Step

Embrace Reality

The hardest yet most vital step to moving on is accepting that the relationship is over. This means setting aside any fantasies of reconciliation or denial about being on a “temporary break.” Acceptance may feel brutal at first, but it frees you to start focusing on your own healing.

Acknowledging Pain Without Shame

It’s okay to feel anger, sorrow, or confusion. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), validating painful emotions is crucial for moving forward. Recognizing your sadness is not a sign of weakness—it’s a necessary step toward self-compassion.

Be the Bigger Person and Forgive

Forgive Them and Yourself

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the hurt or dismissing someone’s wrongdoing. Instead, it releases you from the grip of anger, guilt, or resentment. If you feel responsible for the breakup, forgive yourself, too. Letting go of blame—directed at others or yourself—helps lighten the emotional burden.

Look for the Silver Lining

Although it sounds cliché, heartbreak can sometimes open the door to better possibilities. Your ex-partner may not have been the right fit, or you might discover more about what you truly want in a relationship. Maintaining a positive outlook allows you to direct your energy toward growth and self-improvement.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Affirmations and the Law of Attraction

Mornings are a powerful time to start a fresh mental outlook. Reflect or meditate on phrases like:

• “I will be okay.”
• “I welcome new opportunities for love and happiness.”
• “I deserve healthy relationships.”

Consciously instilling positive thoughts can help you build resilience and move closer to emotional stability.

Don’t Avoid the Pain

Feel the Emotions

Avoiding heartbreak may seem tempting, but suppression can lead to more severe emotional and even physical consequences. Cry if you need to—tears are a natural and healthy way to process grief. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology suggests that acknowledging and validating distress can speed up emotional recovery.

One Day at a Time

Like any healing process, recovering from heartbreak doesn’t happen overnight. Some people bounce back quickly, while others need more time. Be patient and allow yourself to heal at your own pace.

Create Space and Set Boundaries

Cut the Connection, If Possible

Keeping contact with your ex can keep the wound fresh. If it helps, unfollow or unfriend them on social media. Delete their phone number to avoid the temptation to reach out. If you share children or have responsibilities that require communication, consider mediating interactions through a trusted friend or professional until you feel more emotionally stable.

Avoid Vengeful Acts

While it might feel satisfying in the moment, venting frustrations on social media or trash-talking an ex rarely promotes healthy recovery. Your energy is better spent on self-care and constructive healing activities.

Lean on Your Support System

Reach Out to Friends and Family

In times of heartbreak, social support can act as an emotional cushion. Whether it’s grabbing coffee with a close friend or having a heartfelt chat with a family member, sharing your feelings can provide a sense of relief. According to the Mayo Clinic, strong social ties can improve emotional resilience and overall mental health.

Keep Yourself Busy

Staying occupied doesn’t mean avoiding your emotions entirely—it’s about channeling energy into productive outlets. Enroll in a cooking class, volunteer, or hit the gym. New activities can introduce you to like-minded people, broadening your social circle and enriching your life.

Love Yourself First

Self-Care and Well-Being

Focus on self-love by setting aside time for activities that nourish your body and mind:

• Regular exercise
• Mindful eating
• Relaxation techniques like deep breathing or yoga

When you prioritize self-care, your mental and emotional wellness improve, making it easier to move on from heartbreak.

Journaling and Creative Outlets

Writing down your thoughts or channeling emotions into art, music, or poetry can offer immense relief. Some of the most heartfelt creations come from periods of intense emotion—pouring your feelings onto paper can help clarify your mind and reduce overwhelming stress.

Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Steer Clear of Substance Abuse

It’s fine to share a glass of wine with friends, but don’t use alcohol or recreational drugs as a crutch to numb the pain. Substance misuse can worsen anxiety or depression and impede genuine emotional recovery.

Spread Positivity

Interestingly, cheering up someone else can in turn make you feel better. Acts of kindness—like volunteering, surprising a friend with a small gift, or even offering a genuine smile—can be uplifting and help you see the good in the world.

Learn from the Experience

Reflect and Grow

Consider journaling or discussing these questions with a trusted friend:

• What lessons can I learn from this heartbreak?
• How can I avoid repeating the same mistakes?
• What qualities do I need in a future partner?

Heartbreak can serve as a catalyst for personal development, guiding you toward healthier future relationships.

When to Seek Therapy

If you feel overwhelmed by sadness or find daily tasks challenging, it may be time for professional support. Therapy offers a safe space to process heartbreak, develop coping tools, and envision a more hopeful future.

Looking for a Therapist?

Sometimes heartbreak can trigger deeper emotional challenges, such as depression, anxiety, or panic attacks. If you need help navigating these feelings, Kentucky Counseling Center (KCC) provides professional mental health services. Book an appointment to begin your journey toward a healthier, happier you.