It is said that being a mother is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. This job requires a lot of time and effort, indefinite hours of working with little to having no break at all. Being a mom also comes with the struggles of getting enough sleep. Maintaining a productive and manageable daily life can also be a struggle. These and more, and yet the compensation is free.
Some mothers choose to work to help with the finances. Other moms choose to stay home to take care of their children. Research from Pew Research Center shows that 1 out of 5 moms are stay-at-home moms. A lot of people might not realize this, but stay-at-home moms are working full time, too. Often, more.
Taking care of a family is a vital role a woman has to play in society. But the reality is, a lot of these stay-at-home moms are finding it challenging to play their part. And although a lot has been going on in their heads, they will never let the world know how they feel. Depression in mothers is increasingly becoming common these days. Feelings of sadness, anger, and isolation have been a daily struggle.
Here are the truths about Stay-at-Home Moms (SAHMs) and what are the things they are not telling you:
A Stay-at-Home Mom May Feel Sad
Come to think about this: Mothers are usually the first ones to wake up in the family. After that, they wake the kids to prepare for school. They prepare their meals. They do all the chores at home. They are also up late to prepare for the things to do the next day, yet again. The daily routine could be overwhelming and a bit much, but they do it anyway.
A stay-at-home mom leaves no room for complaints. Most of the time, they keep their feelings to themselves. But research from a Gallup analysis showed that out of more than 60,000 US women who participated in the study, 26% feel sadness are stay-at-home moms.
Stay-at-Home Mom Depression is Real
Motherhood is a rewarding feeling for women, but it can also, most often than not, become depressing. A lot of these depressed feelings and emotions come from a sense of isolation and an identity struggle. Research suggests that an increasing percentage of SAHMs have remained unchanged for the last decade. The results mean that a large number of the women population are not going anywhere but home.
Stay-at-Home Moms May Feel Left Out
Yes, SAHMs know that the world is constantly evolving and that many other things are happening outside the home. But, they are not primarily aware since most of their time is spent on their children at home. So, they do not know the exact details of what is happening. As a result, they tend to get lost in their world, feel alone, and sometimes feel self-pity.
A stay-at-home mom misses the sense of feeling alive and free to be spending time with friends. She may also miss going shopping, watching a movie, attending a party, or dine out. But, moms, in general, get to stay home while everybody else is busy in the outside world.
The Mental Health Decline of a Stay-At-Home Mom
Most home moms reported that they are having a hard time balancing between child care and housekeeping. Doing many and simultaneous things (multi-tasking) can lead to a decline in cognitive control; this was suggested by the book written by PaulWBurgess. So while we can call moms the superhero in the family, the reality is, they are real superheroes. But they do have kryptonite and may break down as well.
Most stay-at-home moms, if not all, are tired, restless, angry at times, sad, and depressed. Sad to say, these feelings lead to the decline of their mental health, which isn’t suitable for maintaining peace and harmony in the family.
Stay-at-Home Moms are Wishful Thinkers
SAHMs sense of emotional depression can lead their brains into overthinking things. They can sometimes process their life in comparison. They can think of times when they were working outside versus staying at home. Roles can have different effects. There may be times when they think and ask themselves, “Have I made the right decision?”. They can sometimes wish things were different.
Stay-at-Home Moms Role is Undervalued
Some stay-at-home moms get very little to no appreciation. Just because their families expect them to do what they need to do, these same people can sometimes take these things for granted. But an article shows that if we put a price tag on the hours of work they do daily, it could sum up to $162,581 annually, says Salary.com. The numbers are way higher than the average salary for working moms.
Stay-at-Home Moms Can Sometimes Feel Helpless
We always thought mothers know best. We always depend on them on most of the things we don’t know anything about. But, that is not always the case. There might be instances where they are forced to learn or do things not because it was their choice but because they didn’t have any. They won’t even have the time for themselves because they are too busy taking care of everyone else’s.
Is a Stay-at-Home Mom Bored and Depressed?
No, not all stay-at-home moms are bored and depressed. But, staying at home, taking care of the kids, and not giving time to love yourself can place any SAHMs at risk of developing depression. It’s time to face the truth. If you are a stay-at-home mom and feel the need to deal with the reality you face daily, here are the many things you can do while battling depression.
Give Time for Yourself: A SAHM can deal with boredom by creating a routine. For example, after all the household chores are done, you can work part-time (maybe an online job). You can also choose to go out occasionally by giving yourself a break. You could also connect to the world and be social on social media. Talking to another adult can also be a form of fighting boredom at home.
Do the Things You Love: A stay-at-home mom can cope up doing the things she loves at home before any member of the family awakens. That means a SAHM can focus on important things for her well-being, such as exercising, praying, writing, or reading. Any “alone time” is an excellent time to cope up.
Happiness is a Choice: There might be a handful of studies that show mothers who have jobs are happier than stay-at-home moms. But the decision to be comfortable lies in an individual’s hands. It is a choice. And you can choose to be satisfied any time of the day.
Get Friendly: Who else would you rather talk to but those who can relate, right? Getting ideas from other SAHMs and casually conversing with them is also an excellent way to keep it together. Remember, you are not alone.
Deep Breathing Exercises: Breath in. Breathe Out. Feel the air slowly flow from your nose out to your pursed lips. As if you are whistling. Repeat.
Seek Therapy: Mothers are the light that brings hope to the family. Motherhood, in its very essence, is a mixture of exhaustion, inspiration, and purpose. It makes you think you know plenty of things and sometimes makes you question everything too.
If you are a parent, a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, and you face challenges you have been keeping to yourself, now is the time to talk. Seeking guidance from other people who will genuinely understand, such as a family therapist, is likely what you need.
Mental Health Is Essential. You Are Important.
Your family is significantly dependent on you. We know that there are certain things in the past that you missed doing. These used to be the fun things you enjoy most of the time. You have forgotten how it was like having fun, being free, being perfectly happy, or being yourself.
You may feel like you have lost your identity. But the truth is, you just need to regain yourself.
The hours seem to pass you by now, and you sometimes cannot even recognize yourself when you look back at the mirror. It is not because something is wrong with you, but because you deserve the peace of mind.
Process Your Emotions With a Therapist
Expressing your emotions to a person who is ready and willing to listen may be the best remedy to address what you currently feel. Of course, not everyone in your community may be helpful, but we will. Here at Kentucky Counseling Center, we do not just hear; we listen.
We know that each individual has different needs and issues, and we address them accordingly.
We treat you with the highest respect, and we make sure that we will adequately take care of you. Nothing will ever beat the warm feeling of getting proper care from a family. We always make sure you will feel that way.
It is about time someone listens. Our facility will fully equip health care professionals with the proper knowledge and set of skills and expertise. Treat your mental health with high importance. It balances everything else in your system. If you are around Kentucky and Ohio area, please book an appointment and talk to us.