What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Published on: April 14, 2021
Updated on: April 14, 2025
Author: Kentucky Counseling Center

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition in which individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Characters like Miranda Priestley (The Devil Wears Prada) and The Baroness (Cruella) exemplify these traits: they crave constant attention, exploit others for personal gain, and often show minimal regard for others’ feelings. Below, we explore the different types of NPD, common signs and behaviors, potential causes, and ways to manage or cope with someone exhibiting these traits.

Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), two main types of NPD can be distinguished by their tendencies and reactions:

1. Grandiose (Overt) Narcissism

• Key Traits: Arrogance, entitlement, exaggerated self-importance.
• Behaviors: Needing constant praise, aggressively pursuing admiration, frequently belittling others.
• Example: A grandiose narcissist might dominate conversations, flaunt success, and dismiss others’ contributions.

2. Vulnerable (Covert) Narcissism

• Key Traits: Oversensitivity, defensiveness, and underlying low self-esteem masked by outward pride.
• Behaviors: Appearing shy or modest yet harboring secret resentments when not praised; easily hurt by perceived criticisms.
• Example: A vulnerable narcissist might complain about feeling unappreciated and react dramatically to even mild feedback.

NPD Personality Traits

While self-love can be healthy, narcissism surpasses typical self-confidence. Narcissists typically:

1. Exhibit Grandiose Behavior
   
   • Strong sense of entitlement; they’re always “right.”
   • Overstate achievements or capabilities, ignoring actual expertise or facts.
2. Engage in Exploitative Behavior and Superficial Relationships
   
   • May only form bonds with people they deem beneficial (status or power).
   • Could manipulate or guilt-trip others to maintain control.
3. Crave Excessive Praise and Admiration
   
   • Need near-constant recognition.
   • Become upset or restless when they aren’t the center of attention.
4. Struggle with Criticism
   
   • Even mild feedback triggers anger or defensiveness.
   • Often ignore or twist critiques to preserve their self-image.
5. Lack Empathy
   
   • Rarely consider how their words or actions affect others.
   • Might treat people more like tools than companions or equals.
6. Feel Sad Without Constant Validation
   
   • Experience mood drops or restlessness if they don’t receive praise.
   • Can spiral into self-doubt or depression when ignored.
7. Poorly Cope with Life Changes
   
   • Avoid stress or difficulties by withdrawing rather than adapting.
   • May rely on blame or excuses, refusing to learn from failures.

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

No single factor guarantees someone will develop NPD; it typically arises from a combination of:

• Genetics: Inherited tendencies or predispositions.
• Early Life Experiences: Neglect, abuse, or extreme pampering as children.
• High or Unrealistic Expectations: Perceived pressure to excel in all pursuits or appear perfect.
• Cultural or Family Influences: Environments where material success and status overshadow empathy.

How to Deal with a Narcissist

If evading them isn’t an option, learning to navigate their behaviors can safeguard your emotional well-being:

1. Accept the Reality

Recognize that their personality stems from deep-rooted patterns. You can’t force change overnight—acknowledge their narcissism and plan how to respond.

2. Focus on Yourself

A narcissist may try to minimize your needs or belittle your feelings:

• Stay Grounded: Affirm your own worth.
• Engage in Self-Care: Practice healthy boundaries—“mental shields”—around them.

3. Pick Your Battles

Narcissists can thrive on provoking reactions:

• Stay Calm: Arguing might feed their desire for attention.
• Keep Discussions Brief and Factual: Limit drama by avoiding heated, emotion-fueled topics.

4. Speak Up

When your boundaries are crossed:

• Use a Firm Tone: Calmly say their behavior is unacceptable (e.g., “You can’t speak to me like that.”).
• Be Specific: Focus on the unwanted action. They may not empathize, but clarity helps.

5. Set Boundaries

They may infringe on your personal space or demand constant attention:

• Define Clear Rules: (e.g., no visiting your office unannounced).
• Remain Consistent: Enforce consequences if they violate the limits.

6. Know When It’s Time to Move On

If a narcissist’s actions descend into chronic emotional or verbal abuse:

• Prioritize Your Mental Health: Protect yourself from toxic, manipulative behavior.
• Seek Professional Advice: A counselor can suggest steps for safely distancing or cutting ties.

Final Thoughts

Narcissistic personality disorder often leads to troubled relationships—both personal and professional. Narcissism can’t be cured outright, but therapy and counseling can help someone with NPD recognize destructive patterns, manage impulses, and adopt healthier communication habits. For loved ones or coworkers, preserving mental well-being may require setting clear boundaries, seeking external support, and, at times, walking away.

If NPD is significantly impacting your life, consider family therapy or personal counseling. Kentucky Counseling Center offers professional support, allowing you to safeguard your emotional health and approach interactions with narcissistic individuals more effectively.