We all got problems, and we all need someone to talk to. Whether it’s a friend, spouse, parent, or family member, it’s nice to have a go-to person you can talk to whenever you’re down. This is why it can be challenging if you don’t have someone to have a heart-to-heart conversation with.
Remember that it’s better to reach out to someone rather than end up depressed. But with whom do you share your problems? How can you feel comfortable having that conversation? This article will try to answer these questions.
Why Talking About Your Problems Is Good for Your Mental Health
Experiencing negative feelings is an uphill battle. Taking care of your mental health can be a struggle, as it can wear down your energy and take up most of your day.
So why keep all your problems if you can reach out to someone? Talking to someone is not a sign of weakness. It’s actually one of the ways you can take care of your mental health.
What good does sharing your problems with someone do? How does talking about your problems make you feel better? Does talking about your problems in life good for your mind and body? Here’s what you should know about how talking about your difficulties help you take care of your mental health.
- The Scientific Explanation. A part of the brain called the amygdala coordinates and triggers an emotional response related to fear and anger.
- Affect Labeling. Affect labeling is the process of putting your feelings into words whenever you experience fear, anger, and excitement. It is a proven fact that affect labeling can downregulate the amygdala’s activities, reducing the uncertainty of feelings.
- Example. Have you experienced feeling excited about telling your family the good news, and after having that conversation, you’re feeling much better? Or have you been involved in an accident, and one of your first instincts is to talk to someone?
You may feel like exploding when you’re alone, then something happens, and you have no one to talk to. But you don’t feel shaky anymore after you talk and let out all the bottled-up emotions.
Points to Remember When Talking About Your Problem
It is no doubt that talking about your problems is helpful to your mental health. But if the issue is too personal, and you can’t just randomly talk to a colleague you’re not that close to.
Why? Because you could be sharing your deepest, darkest secrets to an individual who may start a rumor mill. It is important to talk to someone who is going to listen and make you feel comfortable. Below are some of the things to remember when speaking to others about your life issues:
1. Choose the Right Person
Have you ever talked to someone about your feelings, and it seems you’re getting nothing out of it? It’s probably because you’re talking to the wrong person. Depending on what you’re going through, finding someone with similar problems or who has undergone that situation could be helpful.
Who are the right people you can talk to? Your best friend, parents, siblings, and therapist are the people who will listen to you without judgment, which can result in a more positive situation for you.
Bestfriend
Your best friend sometimes knows you better than you know yourself. You know they are supportive and will be there for you no matter what, the same way you will be listening to them if they are the ones with issues.
You may hear advice whether you want it or not, and it may be hard to swallow at times. The reality is that your best friend only wants the best for you, so it would be good if you listen to them and truly consider what they would tell you.
Parents
The persons you know who’ll be listening to you no matter what are your parents. If you’re having difficulties at school, your career, finances, marriage, or family difficulties, your parents have the knowledge and experience about these situations.
Your folks will be listening to you no matter what, but problems like sex life may be awkward; you may want to talk about that with your best friend. But if you’re parents are open-minded, and you feel comfortable telling them about everything you’re going through, you’re lucky.
Siblings
Your siblings are your instant best friends in life. Just like your parents, they’re there for you no matter what. Your relationship with your siblings is powerful since you grew up together. You were cut from the same cloth, and whether you admit it or not, you have some similarities you share with them.
Another Trusted Person
If you don’t feel comfortable speaking about your issues to your best friend, parent, or sibling, you can always talk to someone you trust. You can speak to a relative, pastor, or therapist. Children and teens can talk to their teacher or school counselor.
The bottom line is that you should be able to talk to an individual you trust, someone you can connect to, and someone who truly cares. For a positive outcome, try not to tell everyone or a random person your issues to avoid being the subject of rumors.
If you talk to someone who truly cares, maybe you can receive a piece of advice or the answer that you need to hear. In addition to speaking to someone, it is essential to learn with dealing your emotions. At the end of the day, it’s your life and you should know how to approach this situation based on your judgment.
2. Know That Sometimes You Just Need to Vent Out, Not Have Your Problems Fixed
Whether you admit it or not, there is a problem you can solve. Then there is a problem you can’t find a solution to but need to suck up and deal with. So how do you know which is which?
It’s hard to differentiate between the two. The truth is that it all boils down to your judgment.
There are concerns you just need to tell someone, and there are those requiring intervention. Your support systems can give you helpful advice, but sometimes you just need a soul to listen.
This is what therapists are for. You will learn the coping mechanisms you need to manage your feelings from them.
At times, it’s okay not to be sure what to do. Nobody has it everything figured out. All you need is to find someone to listen to you to take care of your mental health.
3. Choose the Right Time and Place to Talk
As important as finding the right individual to talk to, choosing the right time and place to talk is also important. Your best friend may be dealing with their personal problem, too. It is best to ask them first if they can speak before letting out your emotional baggage.
It would feel wrong to talk to people who are preoccupied themselves. It will also be hard to connect with someone who is also having a hard time. It is best to pick up the phone first and ask if they are free to talk because you want to talk. Respect their time and choose the right place so you can have a productive conversation.
4. Set Limitations
Sometimes, you get all hyped up when talking about your problem. This is why knowing how to set limitations and goals for the conversation is essential.
First, focus on your feelings and thought process. Are you feeling angry, excited, or afraid? Or are you just complaining? Do you need to make meaningful changes?
Take a break if you’re getting too worked up. Avoid repeating yourself over and over again. If you feel that your issues are solvable, set a goal on how to fix them.
Create a game plan with your best friend or parent on how to approach the situation. If you feel the situation is unsolvable, at least set a goal of improving your mood after the conversation.
Also, try to realize that probably you’re complaining too much about the same things to your friends. They may not say it to your face, but you may come out as a complainer, not a problem-solver. You should look into this as well.
Know When to Seek Help
There’s only so much your parents and friends can do. Getting emotional and mental support matters. You’re entitled to let your negative emotions out, and you need friends to hear you.
If there are issues you’re not confident to tell your friends or parents, that’s what you have a therapist for. When you talk to a therapist, try to be open as you can. Do not hold back on what you’re going through, no matter how personal it is. Therapists are mental health professionals bound by a client-confidentiality law, so you are confident that everything you tell them stays between you two.
Be honest about what you’re suffering. Tell your therapist about your panic attacks, thoughts of self-harm, or anything else that worries you. Therapists are trained mental health professionals who can help you with whatever situation you’re going through. However, your therapist will find it hard to help you if you do not let it all out.
Talk to a Mental Health Professional
Due to COVID restrictions and for your safety, you can always opt for online mental health counseling. Kentucky Counseling Center offers telehealth counseling services that enable clients to book an appointment online and have the therapy online. Get the support you need, have the best life, and stop bottling up your emotions by talking to a therapist today.
